dont know if i find girl beautiful or if im envious of their beauty
dont know what i am anymore, impotent, impossible to see myself as male
as if defined by relationship with the other sex
no relation => not male
but it's fluctuating, i'm losing myself, or was I even me ?
feels like an artificial past existence, only the upper brain tried to make sense of life, and failed. the hormonal inner brain has woken up and is stretching everything inside.
it's so painful and dull at the same time.
emotional rollercoaster to quote someone who had the luxury to end up in the middle of the spectrum, with a preserved identity.
i'm paranoid and hypocondriac, with a tendency to end up stuck in my dark thoughts. hope this is another case.
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