nightdreamin'

so easy to dream about you
so hard to reach you

bi-unstable identity center

Bistable is a term used by physicists to describe a system that can stay into one of two state. A flip-flop, a push-button .. In my case, it switches every 3 hours.
So it seems some part of my brain related to sexual identification is oscillating between these two extremes. It's consistent with this recurrent feeling that I'm not a guy enough. I wonder if this could be a result of what some people mentioned about my childhood. A troubling event could have messed up a sense of self gender. Or maybe I'm just struggling to accept a simple reality.

full stack my ass

make self --without-gay
ERROR: libgod.so not found

make self --with-bi
[<c0e1fdd32>] yeah_right+10xd/48
kernel panic

natural trial

Humans gathered around the idea of trial. When something happens to you that causes suffering you want to know all possible details that lead to this event. I wish before I die to be able to witness what cause this bug in my brain. Right now nature's runs free of charge.

just a tiny things moves my mind back

Sometimes a small set of details makes a day feel good. A small breeze, birds, low and calm parents voice fixing something in the kitchen. Memories of old times.

abstraction surface nil

It's funny how anything and everything becomes a source of pain when having sexual disorders. Movies, TV shows, songs, walking out on a sunny day. The dual of life obviously occupies the center of the human culture. Escape.

cortical space noise cancelling

I feel like my brain is deep space and no-one will ever hear the screams I'll produce as long as I breath.