Bistable is a term used by physicists to describe a system that can stay into one of two state. A flip-flop, a push-button .. In my case, it switches every 3 hours.
So it seems some part of my brain related to sexual identification is oscillating between these two extremes. It's consistent with this recurrent feeling that I'm not a guy enough. I wonder if this could be a result of what some people mentioned about my childhood. A troubling event could have messed up a sense of self gender. Or maybe I'm just struggling to accept a simple reality.
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