My affection-needy girl internet buddy wasn't home yesterday. She went to see a colleague that was hitting on her. She didn't told me she was gonna see him. She slept at his house ( maybe with him ? ). Damn we were having some kind of virtual hug relationship, I feel like being dumped. At the same time I clearly don't love her enough, and with my gender issues it wouldn't be worth her time. That said I'm technically happy for her if she had a good time. She's been single and lonely for billions of years. So I play the happy friend card answering her mails even though I feel this slight burn of loss and jealousy.
ps: she said they had the traditional awkward wake up moment.. I guess they did sleep together. She's not thrilled by all this.. but she has a habit of over thinking things negatively, the awkward morning does not help there, but maybe if the guy is not a complete ass it might lead somewhere for her. Now I'm less jealous but not more happy though.
pps: maybe I'm holding her back. I sensed interest from her few times .. she probably feels secure with me.
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