Emergency panic post.
I was foolish to expect things so weird to stay stable, but I didn't expect such a short span. Pulsions have gone quite low, to the point of almost no reactions to images. What used to bring desire to touch, grab, eat is merely shapes now. Even a simple facial expression of pleasure induced 0.5s seizures in my mind. I remember the first day I was out of breath some times. I keep going to gay sites to see if I'm having "another" reversal. So far this part is still off. I'll have to control my fears. I'm down because it was such a powerful force to enjoy, as stupid as it sound, it made almost everything bearable. When things are low, I can barely suffer my parents presence or voice. Haa..
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