woke up thinking about this girl, holding her in my mind, sleeping together making love, then switched again. more exciting, simple sexual pulsion. I'm exhausted by all this. I wanna end it.
ps: I noticed yesterday, my manners aren't that effeminate compared to other guys. Hand positions, finger usage. Overthinking distorts at least this notion that I'm different from them in this regard. That said I still don't know what is gonna make me fully click sexually. I can only hold on to the feelings of joy I have, or the gut twisting jealousy when I think of some girl. *breath*
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