today is a confusing one, i spent the afternoon watching pictures of women with but i'm now in face swap drawback, girls have beard or look like transexuals, men have small feminine faces. Not all of them, not all the time though.
Even with physical attraction, if I can't look at a girl and feel touched by her face it will be fake. But it comes and go randomly. I'm also back to thinking I'm girly. Could this be the reason I obsessed about girls all my life ? subtle desire to be one ? the dislike against my body and face could be related. I wish I could scan my brain. I'm a bit hurried, spending years fixing things would be pointless. I had no life, starting at 50 ? too late.
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