after a deeply moved day, this one was blurry.
no message from the fiancee
high school buddy asked me to come to a bar for a birthday beer, too worried to say yes for now
mother needed money for the house, went to pay half with her
mother rant about father for stupid reason, she will never understand their relationship is fucked up and that whatever she says he will never care since she doesn't care about him anymore
mother cannot stop to harass me for a dirty comb she doesnt even use
I cant hold it, I insult her, she's angry because 'I curse to her'. fuck this whore. she keeps bullying people for the stupidest reason, saying im a dirty lazy fuck or some other loving mother's adjective. So many violent thoughts came to me.
I clean some thing and pick up the trash, on the way out i meet 'childhood friends' weird i wasnt ready to speak.
Thinking just yesterday I was full of dreamy pulsion, tonight' fog of sexual orientation is killing me. I hope my pillow will work.
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